I close my eyes
And there you are
Eternal lover, with your
Caress of the beyond.
Earth mother, holding us all,
The greatest love,
One kiss and I crack open
Dissolving into you
Shattering into endless warm light
A heart suddenly a world,
Mind wide open space, (infinite)
You are me and I am you,
Help us to kindness and understanding,
Courage and strength,
Let us emerge from our lonely pool of tears,
With your colours dancing in our hearts,
Shining joyfully into the world,
A beautiful consciousness,
Warriors made of rainbows.
I wrote that poem in 2006 on a Buddhafield retreat, having developed a wonderful mythic relationship with Green Tara, a Tibetan bodhisattva. She is known as the quick one, a fast way to liberation and insight. Every time you work with her you come a little closer to embodying her beautiful qualities.
I have not dared approach her in writing until now. I had an empowerment on Saturday, as I could wait no longer. I have worked with her for a long time, in meditation, in sadhana. Not officially, in the order I know we are supposed to wait until ordination, but my practice will not wait. Life is too short, too precious. So I raced across three counties to be given her practice by a qualified Lama.
I would like to take you to meet her, as far as I am able. A journey full of meaning, of shattering, of dissolving into the indescribable ecstasy of the eternal. Trust me and play this while reading: (If link doesn’t appear refresh the page)
She can appear as a goddess, the divine feminine. She is or can be all of the female archetypes, and yet in her ultimate form she is beyond any duality, beyond labels or ideas. She is mother nature, Gaia, and is very much in our world. Her signs are the colour green, rainbow light, the rainbows that wink from dewdrops and clouds and shadows. Queen, Protectoress. Tara the Midnight Star. The sunlight that brushes your eyelashes with rainbow light, colouring your world. The signs to divine.
Tara is the compassion bodhisattva, and she is infinite radiant compassion and loving kindness. So let the idea of infinite love into your mind. She forgives. She loves. She heals. She is the star, bright in the dark sky. The ferrier, who will carry us over. The Liberator. The Saviouress.
She loves you so fiercely like a lioness, and you are her only cub, and you are in danger. She wants your happiness, your bliss, she wants you well, free from suffering. She will nurture you to freedom. And this love is multidimensional, multifaceted, and is the same for all beings, everywhere, unlimited.
Sometimes a green beauty, sometimes a lover, a friend, a mother, the divine healing presence sometimes formless, like deep space, sometimes beyond time or space. She is everything we need her to be, anima, the perfect and eternal mother, wisdom goddess and the alluring princess. She can take it all, fantasy, projection, re-enactment of our infancy. She even welcomes it, as working with her will heal. Healing will take us on further. To freedom from suffering. This is what she wants for all beings.
She has many forms and takes on many colours, the form I most respond to is Green Tara. Green is the colour of nature and renewal, freshness, fearlessness. Like wisdom that is constantly renewing itself, green shoots of compassion renewed with the passing waves of season and inspiration.
Her legs express the fundamental nature of reality, with one leg folded in stillness and the other stepping down into the world, ready to respond with the action of compassion. Stillness and movement, wisdom and compassion.
We will become her, approach her realm of love and beauty so that we too may play a part in bringing it into our world. We too transcend worlds and barriers, we too join her song.
In a world somewhere, once, there is a cloud in a clear vast sky. It is a mysterious cloud, that somehow radiates love, and in it are beautiful eyes, glistening with compassionate emotion as scenes of this world’s suffering play out.
Cyclic, repetitive, births, deaths and sorrows, hopes dashed, dreams forgotten, the taking of life, the giving of life. On and on. Armies march across the eyes, billions of dreams, endless cries and shouts, lovers loving and hating, civilisations rising and falling. The eyes which gaze upon all of this are those of Avalokiteshvara, bodhisattva of compassion.
Endless the work, boundless the compassion of Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva who vowed to tirelessly work until all that lives is released from suffering. Instead of passing on he stays in our realms, for us, releasing beings one by one into freedom.
Over time, over countless eons, tears form, and fall, and from those tears forms a crystalline lake.
The waters are blessed by the love that birthed them. In that lake a blue lotus appears, and over time it opens. In it, surrounded by dancing rainbow light, is formed a beautiful young maiden, a rich emerald emanation, perfect. She looks up, smiles, and when she smiles countless beings experience a little shiver of ecstasy, without ever knowing why.
And the wish is formed. Her own vow. She will help him, in his tireless work of love, and she will do it with a smile, a beautiful smile.
She works with that world in that time, and learns her craft, and she grows in her love and her capacity to hold and to embrace, her capacity to understand and to love. Eventually she holds it all.
Now we come to you, or she comes to you. Sat, here, in this world, in this time, reading, mind drifting with possibilities, hoping for union, perhaps without knowing it. You are aware that there is a song, somewhere, so exquisite and celestial that earthly ears cannot quite hear it.
This beautiful magical figure shimmers into being in front of you, or rather your vision shimmers into clarity and can see her in the beyond. Imagination, reality, one.
Her face is close, her eyes revealing worlds and realms of beauty previously unknown to you. Every time you think you can see her, what she holds within her, edges and limits gently smash like panes of glass, and shards and crystals glint and sparkle, opening out to new systems of suns, and further kaleidoscopic drifts of light.
Fields of stars arise and fade, like flowers blooming and falling into dust. The wisdom of the thousand million universes and the endless eons. A gaze which contains all that lives, all that will live, and all that has ever lived, in countless planes. Dimensions are revealed, infinite astral realms.
Yet through all of this she is looking at you. Directly. Knowing, understanding, kind, loving. She is smiling at you, she knows you. There is nothing to do but tremble, and as the rapture rises you dissolve into her.
You shatter, dissolve. Myriad atoms mirror the boundless stars in her eyes and her body.
Floating and drifting, ebb and flow of spirals of life, cycles like galaxies, suns sinking in and out. Universes are born, breathe and die. A vision contains you, should you be able to take it all in.
All is one and one is you, yet nowhere is there a you, for you have become as Tara, woven into the fabric of space and time, from somewhere even beyond that. The essences of all forms are made of her, she is part of the golden light that is in and beyond all that is, like a field of love pervading all worlds.
In her vast being every prayer and wish is heard, and chains are set in motion to answer, to help and to heal, to love or pave the way to wisdom and enlightenment. She has heard you your whole life, and you can listen to her response within and without.
You have entered her realm, and the unimaginable beauty of the quiet music is deafening. Glistening and luscious sounds, celestial harps, and angelic voices singing in languages yet to be born. You are born aloft in her warm breath, her embrace has shattered reality into a thousand million suns, and you are all of them.
You feel no fear, your faith is fearless. This ceasing to be, this shattering of form and concept and idea is comfortable, it is beautiful and not at all disturbing. She has your trust, and always has.
You are all the worlds, all times, all beings, and for a tantalizing moment which is like a thousand million lifetimes, you feel her massive embrace. You see what she sees, you feel the love she feels.
This love is so incomprehensible, so powerful and vast, even with a mind of infinite space you cannot possibly contain it. Every star in your body is filled with a bliss, an eternal ecstasy, this is the beauty she wishes you to see.
If you still had eyes, if you still had a body, you would be weeping uncontrollably. Vertigo. Trembling. Awe so powerful at such inspiring endless consciousness.
For even though her gaze is all-encompassing, and the beings she loves so countless as to open up new infinities in your inner eye, you know that she cares about you so terribly much.
It is unbearable, her beauty. The love fills you with the brightest light, the warmest golden sunshine warms every single stage of your path. Every moment, in this life and all the others, warmed, lightened forever.
Her love is so ecstatic that all of the suns in you brighten and go supernova, as if wave after wave of bliss explode and radiate from all corners of the dharmadatu, every flower in the buddhafield blooms and joins the song. Your bliss contains all that lives, like an endless heavenly blessing , and it touches all consciousness.
All beings blink, for a second they feel it too, as if remembering a flicker of a perfect memory in a beautiful dream. A flicker so elusive as to leave them with the feeling that there is something important to remember.
You know at this moment then that your experience directly affects all beings in all worlds and times. Every single heart-mind in every single kalpa. You see the indescribable and incomprehensible web of interconnection that joins all.
Your rapture becomes constant, like a rush of goosebumps so powerful as to shatter atom, to transport you through the veil. And it is here you can sit with Tara. You can tell her whatever you like, you can ask her to clear and heal, to enlighten. If your experience affects the all, you owe it to life to create great happiness.
You see that she is always there, this wonderful goddess. She stands, everywhere radiating her energy that constantly streams in and out of cosmoses. Her light is always freely available, to you and all other beings. You see that with her at your side your wisdom love cannot but hold all that lives in its embrace.
You see that she will liberate you, save you. She is always there, always. Sickness, old age, and death matter no more. You know what lies beyond. You have found something unconditional, permanent and eternal.
You know she will bring you to buddhahood when you wish. You will become that which sings to all beings, situated throughout space, singing unbound by time, with a voice of infinite ethereal beauty.
Music to weave worlds with, words to softly enrapture and whisper of ecstasy, chords of endless love and devotion. Codas drift, solos flashing insight and the wisdom of the beyond.
Floating. Yet not floating. Without any edge or limit, this field of beauty and bliss. A unity of love and oneness. None of it makes any sense, none of it can be explained or put into a theory, or into words, but you feel it in your heart.
This endless heart, with its limitless love, its divine abodes and its shimmering heavens, its star fields and its bright nebulae. You see the universes reflecting each other, dimensions shifting nebulously beyond gossamer veils.
So you have become her, and she you. She will leave some of herself with you, for she is like that. There is always the sheen of her bliss colouring your vision, the rapturous song that harmonizes your hearing, the perfume of a goddess that subtly bathes you.
You are transported. Your eyes shine with the sparkle of the transcendental, and you know that the ideas of beings which drift across time are both nothing and everything. Dreams. Bubbles on a stream. Flashes of lightning illumining transient inner landscapes.
You see the suffering. You see the desperate wish for security and a hand to hold, the wishes and the hopes. You know there is a salve, a soothing light, and you know you can create it at will. This will be your offering to her. You make a vow of your own.
Everything you see is as if coloured by a golden light, the magical caress of rainbows everywhere, your very skin carries the gateways to bliss. Nothing can or will ever be the same. A light that is beyond beautiful, heavenly sparkling radiance more beautiful than any words were designed to convey, is in you, has healed you, cleaned you, readied you for enlightened activity.
You know that every time you close your eyes she is there, giving you a subtle hand with your meditation. You could return to Tara if you call, or she will return to you. Shakti. Akasha. Divine feminine.
Mother of the suns and all their beings. That memory, of that feeling, that love so massive as to dissolve all form. We all wish for a touch of that love without knowing, like a homecoming, like a remembering of who we are.
Every time you hear the songs of the beyond, the radiant peerless mantra, you remember her. When you see the eternal beauty in a passing sunset, or feel the caress of the light, you remember her. You honour her.
Every time you try you come closer, every time you sing, you dream, you meditate, you pray, you dance, you connect with your love. Your flame burns into a sun which burns into a field of sunlight. Every time the sunlight comes with you.
Every time you close your eyes, you see her face. Sunlight becomes you, and perhaps you will sit with her, in and out of time, radiating suitably bright healing and love into all worlds. Sending rainbows here and there to awaken a soul here or there. Lighting fires in hearts, helping beings to bliss, showing them the way to kiss the joy as it flies, sending them a sign or two to help them to find a way to meet Tara. The Liberator. The Saviour.
Postscript – Thanks and blessings to Vessantara, without whose book my relationship with Tara and many other figures in Tibetan Buddhism would never have begun. His book is available below.